Family

As per usual, I get inspired by movies. It tends to trigger some sort of thought process. This time I'm reminded of my family. I do miss them a lot and have twinges of guilt from time to time on how much I miss out. I really miss my mom a lot from time to time. Sure, there's a lot of dark times but she's basically my rock. She's the woman that would go up to bat for me so nobody messed with me. She had the best of intentions in raising me. She always made me feel loved as well. And I often realize how much she supports me. Sure she gives me trouble from time to time but she lets me do what I please basically. She's really been an awesome mother and the person who I will always miss when I'm away from home. Heh, I still love how whenever I call she sounds excited to hear from me. I just feel that I only call when I need something from her. I think I'll try to call more. I just tend to get wrapped up in myself and busy. But I don't want to let that prevent me from talking to my mom.

And its definitely not just my mom that I miss. I freaking love my sisters. They are little bitches at times but hilarious and awesome at other times. I have so many stories about Katie that if I just think about I instantly start laughing. And its kind of sucky that I missing out on them growing up more. I only got to be there for them for 14 years. They've got these last few on their own. I just hope I've done right by them as a big sister. And I know I especially don't keep in touch with them as much as I ought to. Its just really hard trying to do all the things you want to and not getting distracted. And I feel a bit guilty in not coming home till God knows when but I don't want the animosity that goes with going home. I know I can't stay there long because I honestly don't have a life there anymore. But, I do have people I miss. I just hope they come visit me for the summer. Spring break is coming up and I don't think I'm going home. Which is weird. Part of me wants to go home and the other wants to stay. Just difficult deciding between staying with the life you are building and going back to a place that's been home for years. Just feels like I can't be whole anymore. Well, there's my ramblings for a bit. A bit of tear jerker for me if I must be honest.