Singles Awareness Day

Well, as the tradition goes, another year without a Valentine but still surprisingly had a good time. Its nice when friends come together on a day that ordinarily would be depressing. But, the day didn't come and go without some things to ponder over. Indeed, I start the day off by crying in the wee hours of the morning. Mostly cuz its been two years since last I saw him. I also took the time to talk to him. I don't know if he ever hears me but its nice to let someone know how scared I am at times. I'm always scared that the magic in my life has gone out. That I'll never love anyone so openly and unguarded again. That those parts of me that he brought out are gone forever. That I won't be inspired to sing anymore, even if its terrible. And it seems like its been such a long time to have those sides of me come out. I don't know if they are still there even. I keep thinking that some day I can look back on all this and think it was worth the wait to find someone so special, but its such a long road at times. I try and be patient. Get through my days. Embrace the good that's in my life. But, I'm tired of being on my own. I'm tired of my empty bed. I'm tired of not getting an opportunity to make someone else happy. I'm just a bit over the selfish part of my life and ready to have someone come into my life that I can focus on a bit. But, life is what it is. And things come into your life not on your time but on its own time. I just hope all this waiting and hoping can end at some point. Oh well. Perhaps another day closer to finding someone to fall for. And each heart-break may bring me closer to the person that won't.